I know what you are thinking. What/why would anyone blog about this? Well this morning there are 'many' F words rolling around inside my head. I am a "Feeler"...not a thinker...which is why I need to blog so much.
FUTURE: My future is later today or possibly tomorrow. I will think of the future this week in the 'short term' as I am really terrifed to think of what the long term will bring. I need to live in the moment...today...as it is all I have and it is all I can cope with right now.
FEE's: I have two 'Fee's in my life. They are the light of my life...my husband and my son share the same middle name. Today it will be a 'FEE' day...both with totally different needs but I will be there for both just the same.
FEMININE FEMALES: My two 'girlie girls'...my two ladies who are without a doubt my best friends...my daughter - my princess, without whom (I shudder to think) I could not cope. And my daughter-in-law...the little sweetie who puts the light and the twinkle in my son's eyes.
FAILURE: I don't believe in the word...so I will forge on. My mother's words continue to ring in my ears..."your cross is tailor-made for your shoulders". Mom...I know you are with me...I will watch for the signs today that signal your presence. Without your gentle guidance my entire life...I probably wouldn't be coping today at all...but I am...because of you. I will have moments...but for the most part...I will be fine. Failure is not the only option.
FUN: I am blessed with memories of having the best 'fun' with my family. Just before I fell asleep last night, their FACES floated before me and they were all smiling. The last visage I had of my husband's face when I left him in the ER was smiling and laughing at a lunatic that was screaming and ranting down the hall in the ER...his smile reminded me of his Mother...who would also find humour in the situation. Always...always...he finds humour in an otherwise dire situation.
What I know to be true...today is all I have. I will put my trust in God and the Universe to dish up whatever it is I am supposed to learn from all this. Hopefully along the way, He will dish up some strength and wisdom for me to cope and to understand what this all means.
L.Lorraine
Psams 37:4: "Delight thyself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart."
"The Lord is all good, all that is great, all that is love, all that is timeless, all that is peace. Delight thyself in all those things, and you will have the desires of your heart."
Oprah Magazine May 2010
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