Once we reached the highway, familiar landmarks whizzed by my window with numbing speed. Daybreak was still a few hours away, so everything I see had a ghostly shadow about it. Still spooked, I shivered. I never experienced travelling at night where dark roadside shapes became living forms, with faces.
My lungs felt like I had been under water for a long time. They were aching and I inhaled deeply, like I had been holding my breath without oxygen, for some time. The music was turned down low, and we drove on in silence. I welcomed the silence, as my thoughts were churning around from the present, to the past couple of days, and eventually came back to what tomorrow was about to bring. While the children slept; their even breathing reached us, as we rode on, deep in thought, side by side, in the front seat of the van. Strains of Elton John’s lyrics found their way into my conscience.
“And it’s no sacrifice; just a simple word, its two hearts living in two separate worlds…”
I slowly glanced over at him and realized he was listening too. He reached over and took my hand, while tears slid slowly down my face to rest in my hair. My pain sits like a rock in my chest and threatens to constrict my breathing again. He’s silent. Not being able to find his voice, he drives on, concentrating on the dark road ahead of us. Emotion is a luxury he will need to park on a shelf for later. He needs all his concentration now for driving, and for the journey ahead.
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(Exerpt from a creative non-fiction piece that has been in the making for some time....maybe one day it will be finished!! *sigh* so many stories....so little time!)
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